how long should the talking stage last

How Long Should the Talking Stage Last? Decoding Dating

The talking stage is a critical part of any budding relationship. Of course, getting to know each other is important and exciting. But exactly how long should the talking stage last? If this has been a dilemma for you, you’ve come to the right place!

In this guide, we explore the talking stage in depth to help you navigate it better. From learning about the other person to ensuring your relationship moves through the talking stage smoothly, we will help ensure you won’t get lost as you map out your future. First, let’s take a look at what the talking stage entails and what you should expect.

What Is the Talking Stage?

Talking Stage

The talking stage is when two people get to know more about each other to feel out a potential connection. The term “talking stage” became popular when Gen Z entered the dating age.

This stage is not typically part of the relationship itself and doesn’t necessarily lead to a full commitment. However, the talking stage is a crucial step in the dating process as it allows individuals to learn more about each other without the pressure of expectations or commitment.

During the talking stage, individuals are upfront and honest about themselves and their expectations to minimize disappointment and heartbreak later on. The talking stage also saves people a lot of time and effort they would put into investing in a relationship that will not work out.

While there are no rules or set deadlines for the talking stage, it does have a start and end point. And because the talking stage doesn’t warrant any commitment or serious expectations of the people involved, they are free to explore other potential romantic prospects.

Moreover, each person has a different definition of what the talking stage entails. While some prefer to simply chat via messaging apps, others might also consider going on dates or making plans to meet.

How Long Should the Talking Stage Last?

How Long

The talking stage can last anywhere between two weeks to three months. It typically ends when one or both parties decide to transition into a committed relationship or end things.

How the talking stage progresses depends on the people involved, their preferences, and their boundaries. And how long this phase lasts depends on many factors, such as the quality of your conversations, personality types, attachment styles, etc.

Looking at these factors and certain clues can help you determine how long your talking stage should last to benefit you both. Next, we closely examine the critical elements that can help you navigate your talking stage.

1. Quality of Conversations

As the name suggests, the talking stage primarily focuses on conversing to get to know the other person. Hence, the quality of your conversations is critical.

The higher the quality of your conversations, the more you get to know one another, and the quicker you can decide whether you want to pursue a relationship with them. If you can easily get into deep topics early on, the talking stage shouldn’t extend to several months.

The opposite is also true — if your topics are largely surface-level, you will spend more time in the talking stage. A couple that’s talking about their relationship expectations, wants and needs, and future plans, etc., will be able to make a decision sooner than those who need more time to open up.

2. Personality Types and Comfort Levels

Each person’s personality type and comfort level also influence how fast or slow the talking stage progresses. For example, someone with introverted traits might be more reserved during the talking stage, while one who is more extroverted will be more eager to chat and even set up dates.

More reserved individuals often prefer to take things slow and might not engage in deeper or meaningful conversations until they feel truly comfortable. In contrast, more open individuals will be able to express themselves more easily and may be ready to proceed through the stage faster.

Of course, comfort levels also vary greatly when talking about various topics. Talking about family might be easy for some, but it might be challenging for others.

3. Attachment Styles

The talking stage is also meant to help couples understand each other’s attachment styles and assess how they will work together. For example, an avoidant or anxious attachment style will mean that someone takes much longer to open up. The less the individuals express themselves openly, the fewer opportunities they have to connect deeply and engage in meaningful conversations with their potential partners.

People who are aware of their attachment styles and work on them will have a much smoother and shorter talking stage and success in future relationships.

4. Compatibility

A couple’s compatibility will also determine how long the talking stage lasts. Compatibility can encompass many aspects, including the following:

• Understanding beyond surface-level attraction
• Acceptance of each other’s quirks
• Alignment of values
• Mutual respect
• And many more.

The more compatible two people find themselves, the more likely they are to feel secure in exploring a relationship. This security also enables them to open up and engage in deeper conversations to truly know each other.

And because they feel so positive and connected, they might move on to the next stage of their relationship more quickly.

5. Distance

Couples in the talking stage might never have met or may have met just once but are currently a significant distance apart. This doesn’t hinder the talking stage, as the digital age has made communication much easier.

While the internet enables individuals to connect with millions of people without the barriers of distance, it also becomes a crutch. The greater the distance between individuals, the less likely they are to be able to spend time in person. This can result in them taking more time to get to know each other virtually before starting a committed relationship. Making plans and then meeting in person might take months; thus, extending the talking stage.

6. Past Experiences, Personal Growth, and Goals

A person’s past relationships may also determine how long they stay in the talking stage with a potential romantic interest. Those with negative experiences or trauma might take more time to heal and, hence, won’t open up readily. Meanwhile, those who’ve overcome these challenges might be ready to fully commit to the talking stage and beyond.

Personal goals and growth are also critical elements to consider. These include how much effort an individual is willing to put into the talking stage and what they want to get out of it.

For example, those who have clearly defined their personal growth paths and goals will be able to better assess the viability of a potential match. Those who are having trouble with their education or careers may not have solidified their goals and expectations in terms of relationships.

7. Red Flags

Red flags are warning signs or signals that indicate things might be off in a potential match. Red flags can show up anywhere and at any point in a relationship, including the talking stage. While some red flags are generally the same from one person to another, some might have their own list of deal breakers that they watch out for in others.

Different people will react to the revelation of red flags in different ways. Many consider red flags to be deal-breakers and thus end the talking stage at that point. Others might think of them more flexibly and consider things on a case-by-case basis. These kinds of people may take some time apart to reconsider whether they can move forward.

Red flags can either end your talking stage and the possibility of a relationship, or they might extend the get-to-know-you period. However, if both partners tackle the issue honestly and don’t shy away from seeking professional guidance, navigating the talking stage might not take too long despite red flags.

8. Initiation

The talking stage might seem like a slow period of getting to know each other, but it’s far from a passive process. It can proceed much more quickly if individuals take the initiative to make plans to talk and meet multiple times.

Naturally, taking the lead might not be easy for everyone. If both individuals don’t like making plans or going on dates this early, their talking stage may progress more slowly.

Whereas, if one or both partners take the initiative and are eager for things to move forward, the talking stage may not last for too long.

9. Clues

You can also take a good guess at how long the talking stage will last based on clues from the other person’s actions.

If they seem very interested in you, the more they’ll want to get to know you better. Their interest will also result in them taking the initiative to make plans to meet or talk about your future. And if they make plans that you’ll appreciate, it’s a good sign that you’re on the right track.